If you’ve worked in an office or encountered the police then you’ll be interested in this week’s episode.
First up, Shaunelle has a case that will make you re-evaluate the way that you interact with your coworkers forever. Shirley Pierce was a true southern gem. Born in North Carolina and literally described as “sweet as a glass of tea” Shirley lived her life with grace and treated those around her with dignity and kindness. Unfortunately, one act of misplaced kindness was misinterpreted as an attempt to steal someone’s husband. Despite her denial Shirley was stalked and ultimately murdered for her act of supposedly blatant disrespect.
Then Susana tells us a tale of a woman who survived being brutalized only to find out her assailant was a monster who was allowed to get away with heinous acts for years leading up to her attack. She was lucky she lived to tell her story however, because one of his victims wasn’t so lucky.
If you asked us what didn’t interrupt us this week, we’d have a shorter explanation. You name it, we had it: door slams, elevator pings, ambulance sirens, crazy Pomeranian bedtime routines…all the B.S packed into one short episode.
*Due to an appointment and no other time to record, we do our very best to corral our opinions but Susana is pissssssed so you should expect a Venezuelan rant …or five.
Up first, with a truly angering recount of a case that screams (just SCREAMS) privilege!!! Susana delves into the disgusting case of Christopher Belter and the multiple rapes he perpetrated. We thought our disgust reached it’s peak learning about the remorseless way in which he carried out his crimes, but it went thermonuclear when we found out he had enablers every step of the way.
If you can believe it, it gets worse because that ole bitch, lady justice, swept in only to disappoint, as usual. Who’s surprised?!…Not us!
Then, on a slightly lighter note Shaunelle’s case is all about romance…online romance, that is. When 19 year old Marissa Williams’ relationship with her aunt turned sour she sought out the one person she thought she could trust, her new online love. Her plans for retribution were unexpectedly foiled and Marissa was caught by the long arm of the law. Who sold her out? and who the hell put a hit out on the family dog?!
All will be unpacked in this crazy tale of family drama, betrayal and attempted dogicide.
Happy to report we got our audio mixing sorted…please proceed to the wildness within.
We’re back with the B.S this week ! First of all, our case titles may be misleading. So to manage your expectations we’re going to go right ahead and say that there’s absolutely no threesome / sex happening on a baseball field in this episode. We’re sorry if that’s disappointing.
Shaunelle is up first with a story of misadventure in dating. When Heidi Carter decided to participate in a ménage à trois she may have bitten off more than she could chew….especially since she wasn’t exactly single at the time. The story disintegrates from there and we enter a confusing tale of drama, a possible set-up, rape , murder and the recurring theme of why oh why can’t people have honest sex?!
Then Susana does us all proud as she delves into case made famous by the Netflix documentary, Long Shot. Whatever you thought you knew, throw it out the window. When Juan Catalan was hauled to jail for a murder he repeatedly pleaded his innocence however, police wouldn’t believe him. After all, he was identified by several witnesses as the murderer. It seemed like Juan was headed straight to prison but fate had a home run in the cards.
Click play / download to join us on a wild ass ride!
***Also, enjoy the relaxing thuds in the background which are actually Susana’s nervous knees going under the table.
We’re back with our bread and butter this week so on deck it’s a heavy case of injustice and an unusual case of murder.
Our episode is longer than usual due to some housekeeping. If you want to hit the content it starts around the 23 min mark.
First up, Susana brings us the worst case of child abuse and cruelty. After surviving brutal abuse herself as a child Louise got a fresh start with her husband David and together they had 13 beautiful children. By all accounts they should’ve had everything but in fact inside their home held a horrible secret of torture, starvation and filth.
Then Shaunelle follows with a truly unusual case of murder in which Joan Porco survived a savage attack at her home only to awaken and discover that the person she identified as the killer was one of her own. It’s a case of murder, mob ties, the wonders of the human mind and the capabilities of the human body under extreme duress.
You may think your family is dysfunctional but they have nothing on the 2 families we’re covering today.
Welcome to the Criminally Clueless Podcast Quinceañera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you were expecting fanfare, balloons and / or joy go ahead and chuck those expectations out the window because we are, as usual, exhausted while recording this week. Technical difficulties and personal drama contributed greatly to us doing another after dark episode…..it goes without saying that we won’t be held entirely responsible for anything said during this episode.
The biggest shock of the week isn’t the fact that we managed to kick off the episode without a litany of cuss words but rather the fact that this episode can be considered somewhat of a diet or light version of our usual stuff. If you’re still recovering from the mutilation in episode 14 then this is the palate cleanse you need.
First Susana brings us a story of the lengths one man would go through to secure something he had all along….let that sink in for a minute.
Moving on, we’ll go on to say that he’s certainly not a “murder you because you saw me eat poop” kinda crappy dad but he’s up there and definitely won’t be winning any dad of the year awards.
Then Shaunelle unravels a tangled web of deceit and revenge. Ask yourself what do a successful woman, armed robbery, a police informant and an ill-informed Trini have in common? Coming up blank? then click play to hear the twists and turns of this convoluted story.
Two men, two lives governed by lies, Big Steups.
Oh and as an added treat look out for this week’s alternative sentence enhancers.
You already know, we are the Mayors of struggle city so just because we made it to this milestone of episode 10 ain’t mean sh*t’s changed.
With that said, it seems for our first episode in the double digits we decided to go all out and no topic is off the table.
If you are easily offended by topics including (but not limited to):
vaccinated people, as well as celebrity outta timin tweets about vaccination
violence against indigenous women
techniques of pussession (new term, just coined it literally means use of p*ssy to possess someone)
references to Bill Cosby
naughty nuns and rape in the catholic church
THIS IS NOT THE EPISODE FOR YOU!!!!! Think of this as the ominous sign at the top of the dark trail warning you to turn back. No hard feelings. Just skip this one.
First up, Shaunelle takes us through the horrific murder of young, pregnant, indigenous woman Loretta Saunders. Despite the swift action taken by authorities (due largely in part to Loretta being misidentified) they were not able to save Loretta. In the end, her murderer’s revealed that her death came down to a frivolous dare. That’s right, one life for one dare (yes, we can’t believe it either).
Then, Susana (who was apparently was in the mood to stir sh*t) comes to us with a case of rape in the Catholic Church. Surprisingly, the perpetrators were the most unexpected part. To paraphrase Susana “nobody suspects the nuns so they continue to get away with it”.
This episode is honest, intense and probably more than you bargained for.
We are the first to tell you that we are NOT reliable resources for any information that could impact your life in any way so we should not need to tell you all that our views on mental health and any suggestions made in that regard do NOT stem from any sort of professional authority. What we lack in knowledge, we more than make up for with our willingness to learn and understand.
To be fair though, we call ourselves clueless for a reason so I wouldn’t hold out for us to get it perfect …..ever.
Susana is up first this week with a story of a young man failed by (our contender for jackass of the year) “the system”. He slipped so far through the cracks, despite his father’s attempts to get him help, that his unstable mental state and affinity for violence were both essentially weaponized resulting in murder. A murder which could’ve been prevented.
Then Shaunelle covers the horrifying case of a young man named Kevin Bacon (no known relation to Hollywood’s Kevin Bacon) and how this man was lured to his death by a homicidal cannibal. The question we’re left with is whether or not the murderers mental health played a part in the crime.
This is a bit of a Frankenstein’s monster case. Why? you ask, well It’s comprised oftwo separate recordings. After weeks of trying to share a case (which shall remain nameless), a series of comical and honestly unfortunate events resulted in us, not only, scrapping the case but also blessing the apartment to ward off bad juju. This means that you will notice a difference in the audio sounds due to a new set up |(feel free to comment). Also, Angela If you’re reading this, it was just a misunderstanding.
Husbands will be husbands right ?
In our first case, Shaunelle will delve into the disturbed world of notorious serial killer Jerry Brudos and his extreme fetish. Two words: breast paperweights. If that didn’t paint a picture we don’t know what will.
Then Susana takes us back to the 90’s with the infamous Amy Fisher case i.e the underaged, spurned ex-lover with killer aim case. How this story unfolded is still fascinating to this day…..almost as fascinating as where they all ended up.
In both cases the wives of these men had no idea what they were up to until it was too late so we’re recommending you drink you water and mind your husband’s business…..it could save someone’s life, even yours.