You already know, we are the Mayors of struggle city so just because we made it to this milestone of episode 10 ain’t mean sh*t’s changed.
With that said, it seems for our first episode in the double digits we decided to go all out and no topic is off the table.
If you are easily offended by topics including (but not limited to):
vaccinated people, as well as celebrity outta timin tweets about vaccination
violence against indigenous women
techniques of pussession (new term, just coined it literally means use of p*ssy to possess someone)
references to Bill Cosby
naughty nuns and rape in the catholic church
THIS IS NOT THE EPISODE FOR YOU!!!!! Think of this as the ominous sign at the top of the dark trail warning you to turn back. No hard feelings. Just skip this one.
First up, Shaunelle takes us through the horrific murder of young, pregnant, indigenous woman Loretta Saunders. Despite the swift action taken by authorities (due largely in part to Loretta being misidentified) they were not able to save Loretta. In the end, her murderer’s revealed that her death came down to a frivolous dare. That’s right, one life for one dare (yes, we can’t believe it either).
Then, Susana (who was apparently was in the mood to stir sh*t) comes to us with a case of rape in the Catholic Church. Surprisingly, the perpetrators were the most unexpected part. To paraphrase Susana “nobody suspects the nuns so they continue to get away with it”.
This episode is honest, intense and probably more than you bargained for.
We are the first to tell you that we are NOT reliable resources for any information that could impact your life in any way so we should not need to tell you all that our views on mental health and any suggestions made in that regard do NOT stem from any sort of professional authority. What we lack in knowledge, we more than make up for with our willingness to learn and understand.
To be fair though, we call ourselves clueless for a reason so I wouldn’t hold out for us to get it perfect …..ever.
Susana is up first this week with a story of a young man failed by (our contender for jackass of the year) “the system”. He slipped so far through the cracks, despite his father’s attempts to get him help, that his unstable mental state and affinity for violence were both essentially weaponized resulting in murder. A murder which could’ve been prevented.
Then Shaunelle covers the horrifying case of a young man named Kevin Bacon (no known relation to Hollywood’s Kevin Bacon) and how this man was lured to his death by a homicidal cannibal. The question we’re left with is whether or not the murderers mental health played a part in the crime.
There’s a lot going on in today’s episode …more than usual. If the beginning is any indicator then you know you’re in for a rough ride. Not only are we dropping an episode with, not 1 but 2, cases of opportunistic pervs, but we are also dealing with Susana shaking ice like a pair of maracas and alarms going off.
First up, Shaunelle covers a case she cleverly (according to her) entitled “An Officer and A Pervert” (extra points if you got the movie reference). When women were falling victim to home invasions seemingly plucked from the mind of the infamous Jerry Brudos himself, the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) tried to catch him before he escalated. Unfortunately, it was too late and what started as home invasions soon lead to the murder of 2 young women. The OPP needed to catch the culprit before he struck again. They just didn’t realize the fully decorated culprit was hiding in plain sight.
Then Susana takes us on a walk down memory lane, with the infamous Mary Kay Letourneau case in which “love” (and by love we mean abuse) contributed to the derailment of a young man’s life. We’ve amended that ole rhyme just for this so it reads: First comes abuse, then comes prison ….because that’s exactly what she got (and deserved).
Ultimately, this is an episode of two entitled people from relatively privileged backgrounds abusing their power and ruining lives …buckle up
We got our hands on some sweet sweet mics and they’ve made all the difference in our audio situation. We just need to remember to actually speak into the mic as well as refrain from hitting the table…whoops !
It’s Susana’s birthday episode this week (check us out on Instagram @criminallyclueless for the cute set-up) and our birthday girl did not come to play games. She takes us on a telenovela-esq journey so convoluted Jane the Virgin couldn’t write it. Our heroine is the kick-ass Marisela Escobedo. Marisela’s daughter Rubi was dead and despite Marisela putting everything on the line to prepare an ironclad case, she couldn’t get her daughter’s murderer to pay. It’s a seriously twisted story of murder, corruption and a mother refusing to give up on justice for her daughter.
Yes, you are right, Susana does have a case type but it’s her birthday and she can make us cry if she wants to.
Next up, and hoping to make good on a birthday promise, Shaunelle has 3 (yes, three) clueless criminal cases, each one more clueless than the last. If you make it to the end of the podcast you can enjoy Susana laugh-crying herself through the last 5-10 minutes of the episode. You can also help us answer the age old question of Pussy or Prison ? (weigh in on our latest poll).
This is a bit of a Frankenstein’s monster case. Why? you ask, well It’s comprised oftwo separate recordings. After weeks of trying to share a case (which shall remain nameless), a series of comical and honestly unfortunate events resulted in us, not only, scrapping the case but also blessing the apartment to ward off bad juju. This means that you will notice a difference in the audio sounds due to a new set up |(feel free to comment). Also, Angela If you’re reading this, it was just a misunderstanding.
Husbands will be husbands right ?
In our first case, Shaunelle will delve into the disturbed world of notorious serial killer Jerry Brudos and his extreme fetish. Two words: breast paperweights. If that didn’t paint a picture we don’t know what will.
Then Susana takes us back to the 90’s with the infamous Amy Fisher case i.e the underaged, spurned ex-lover with killer aim case. How this story unfolded is still fascinating to this day…..almost as fascinating as where they all ended up.
In both cases the wives of these men had no idea what they were up to until it was too late so we’re recommending you drink you water and mind your husband’s business…..it could save someone’s life, even yours.
But first, a note from ournon-sponsor Tylenol 3: You’re in for a real treat this week! Susana showed up to our recording session high off her ass on her post op medication, amped up about her case and unable to consistently speak directly into the mic. You should expect an increased disregard for pronunciation as well as an array of Mother F bombs.
***Trust us, it was enough that we’re considering censorship for future episodes.
First up, our post-op podcaster takes a deep dive into the clusterF*%k handling of the Vanessa Guillen case. Vanessa had a life long dream of serving her country in the military and was happy to take up a post at Fort Hood only to have her dreams destroyed at the hands of a selfish and sadistic fellow soldier. Her mother, Gloria, isn’t taking her death lying down and we’re the newest members of her fan club.
Then we discuss invisibility …..no we aren’t hoping for a revival of the fantastic 4, we’re in fact delving into the serious issue of the invisibility of minority women to people in positions of authority. Specifically, we’re discussing the case of Sarah Butler and why her death could’ve been prevented if a certain predator didn’t see black women as expendable and law enforcement didn’t double down on that notion by their complete inaction.
We stumbled into a theme because in both cases families are seeking justice for the lives of their daughters snuffed out at the hands of ain’t s*#t men.
It’s the heavy episode you never knew you needed. Buckle up!
Check out the links to the vice documentary mentioned as well as a petition to help the cause below:
*The two topics in this episode got us both pretty heated and without realizing it I ( humble blogger Shaunelle) started speaking a little too fast.
The first story is enough to take you back to those turbulent tween (are these still a thing?) / teen days. With misunderstood intentions and lots of jealousy it’s enough to make you wonder whether or not you’re reading an entry in that diary we all know you had. Unfortunately, the frenemies of this story don’t just drift apart and go on to cyber stalk each other on Instagram …… this frenemy story ends in murder.
For our next story we strongly recommend a drink, or 10 because only complete inebriation can help you process the absolute dumpster fire of a human that is Rachel’s Jackass ex-man. His unforgiveable betrayal and a woman’s quest for justice are all unpacked at the link above or wherever you get your podcast fix.
***please also enjoy the links to the performers I mentioned at the start of the episode as well as my pronunciation of the word prosecution .
Susana demanded she go first this week and I can’t blame her. She has a short but disturbing story of 2 fated cell mates. Like it’s not enough that young Shane Goldsby and his sister were victims of abuse but he was trapped in a cell with a known abuser. The story gets worse, if you could believe it.
Today we also have our first Clueless Criminal in the books. Jessica was ready to kill for her dream of being a model….unfortunately for Jessica the only runway she would be walking down was the aisle at the courthouse. If you miss all the other episodes listen to this one! It’s more than worth it !!!
They’re just like your favorite celebrity couples: Brad and Jen, Brad and Angelina …hell, Brad and anyone really (poor Brad, we love you! Call us) and you know what they had in common with them ? Their relationship didn’t end well either. That may be the understatement of the year if you factor in the controlling nature of one half of this dynamic duo and their callus approach to an act that would, quite frankly, rattle the steadiest of hands.
Then we’ll be taking a look at the crimes of one nurse who was obviously absent on “bedside manner day”. To be honest she was probably also absent during “don’t be an opportunistic asshole” day too. I digress, it’s a lot.
It’s the first official episode of our new podcast!!!!! Can you tell we’re a little excited ?
On today’s episode we are going to delve into the world of literal crappy parenting with Mark Redwine who will, not only, make you re-evaluate your parenting style but also your dietary choices. This ain’t the food network so please don’t try his recipe at home.
We’ll also be chatting about a certain NYC Governor who, by all accounts, has been a victim of a time lapse and thinks it’s ok to be inappropriate with his employees. Newsflash! using your position and power to assert dominance has never been ok !!!!!