All we’re gonna say is we should’ve hired professionals. We’re strong, don’t get us wrong, but some things are just worth paying for. . We might be stupid enough to try to move house with minimal help but we’re not so stupid that we’ll kill ourselves pulling an all night recording session after the fact. . We will be back with fresh, steaming bullshit next week. We love you
Chaos they name is this episode. We’re going to go ahead and say this may be the most random episode we’ve ever recorded. Not only is it the Susana birthday episode but she basically had NO CASE and an epic Friends trivia battle ensued.
If you’re not into banter and you want to get technical our actual content this week starts around the 25 min mark and we guarantee after listening you’ll ask yourself “if this is what they left in, what the hell didn’t make the cut?” and we’ll never tell.
Susana was in fine form this week and kicks off the episode talking about her birthday and her feelings about the lavish celebration thrown by her co-host Shaunelle. She then takes us through the speed date of criminal cases centered around a murdered beauty queen and promptly threw Shaunelle under the bus for yet another failed attempt at apologizing.
Then, Shaunelle covers the murders of Seth Aidoo and Eunice Baah and how their sad tale likely involved the dark arts. We hope your take away, from this case, is that jealousy never wins in the end even if the guilty technically doesn’t confess.
*Susana had the audacity to forget to send her sources again but she will later.
Season 3 is here!!! Did you miss us? We missed you. We actually intended our S3 release for last week but alas we got drunk at the cottage and did our nails instead. We’re not saying you aren’t a priority but we are saying that sometimes what you really need is diy budget mojitos and an action movie to set things right.
It should be noted that we kick off the episode discussing ways to scare the neighbors away…you know, typical Criminally Clueless antics.
First up, Shaunelle brings us the truly terrifying case of Israel keyes and his abduction of Samantha koenig. This case has been done time and time again likely due to the macabre nature of his crime however, Susana never heard it before so Shaunelle thought it fitting to kick the season off with what may have been one of the most prolific serial killers of all time.
Then Susana hits us with the heartbreaking case of a young girl who was attacked while returning books to the public library. The scariest aspect of this case was the fact that her life changed in an instant at the hands of an unhinged criminal on the hunt for blood.
It’s our season finale! Can you believe it? We’re sorry to spring this on you but, to be fair, it took us by surprise as well.
In true Criminally Clueless Podcast fashion we are ending the season with a bang …..sort of. Shaunelle kicks the episode off by introducing Susana (and now you) to one of the most depraved terms she’s ever learned. For sensitivity sake the actual definition of the term has been cut from the episode but Susana’s response is enough to tell you NOT to look it up. If you do look it up, we’re sorry. Feel free to leave an angry message in the comments.
Susana’s last case of the season involves a disturbing find in a local New Mexico dumpster and the contents, of said dumpster, would cast serious doubt on whether or not the young mother involved was acting out of fear and not malice.
Then Shaunelle closes out the season with a case of two young lovers who met on the internet. Lies and betrayal tore them apart but it was revenge that would rip the mask off their romance and cost an innocent man his life.
Update; in this episode we mention a story about some children being chased by a woman with a knife. Further details have come out and it seems the children got into a fictitious altercation with the accused son. This still does not justify the use of racial slurs or chasing children with a knife so we stand by most of what we said
This week we kick things off with a well intentioned, albeit misplaced, apology to the blind/visually impaired community of Trinidad and Tobago…….they know Shaunelle is sorry so we’ll leave it at that.
This rough start also came along with a tale of a mysterious horse death, a racist chasing children with knives and bad parenting. If you think any of the aforementioned topics will piss you off this may not be the episode for you.
Shaunelle leads with her case of an adventurous Els Van Doren and her last skydiving attempt. What could’ve been a case of misfortune was soon unraveled as a case of revenge ….or so the evidence suggested.
Then Susana hits us with something that’s not her usual style. Not to give anything away but she uses the phrase “tasted her brains” so just know you may leave this episode with no appetite.
Be warned, we re-recorded the lost episode from last week and had lots to unpack including 2 (yes two) stories of road rage with drastically different endings. The actual content doesn’t start until around min 22.
With that said, Susana kicks us off with a tragic story of how a family was almost completely wiped out by a person who allowed their ego in the driver’s seat. As if that wasn’t enough it wouldn’t be a Susana case if you didn’t leave absolutely gutted at the penalty or lack thereof.
Then Shaunelle lightens the mood with a repeat of her clueless cases from last week. Luckily Susana still thought they were pretty entertaining.
Canada Eh ?! If you’re from here you know that we have a reputation for being …..nice but the rogue few who choose to debunk that rep, take it to the next level.
Case in point, Susana hits us with the notorious case of Paul Bernardo and his reign of terror in Ontario. We can all agree his crimes were heinous but it was the participation of his sidekick that really pissed people off.
Then Shaunelle brings us what may be the ultimate whodunit. 3 people dead in a hotel, no suspects and only the scene as a witness. The only thing weirder than the crime scene was the actual crime.
Then to decompress us all, cuz we need it after the trauma, she then brings us a case of a patriot and a criminal. Two words: Canadian Elsa. Enjoy !